Monday, September 26, 2011

Curing Insomnia

I like my freedom here at college. I like not having a curfew and being able to stay up until whenever I want and not having to be worried that I’m the only one around that can’t sleep. I hear the chain smokers every night that stay outside my window until 4 a.m. They were a nuisance before but now they have become a comfort. Things are all too quiet when it’s raining out, and there aren’t any strangers hanging around not trying to whisper. I end up missing how their voices intertwine with my half-dreams.
I tell my parents that the things here are fine, but they're not. I haven't been sleeping. I've been thinking too much every night. My mind wanders to far away places when my eyes close. My brain won't settle itself down enough to allow me to sleep until very late. it isn't fair, but sometimes it is worth falling asleep in class.
I like the feeling of being on the edge of sleep. I like listening to what my subconscious is saying through my dreams. It really is all very scientific and introspective. Who knew i would find out so much about myself just from my lack of sleep.
I just don't like the fact that I'm trapped in my own head with my thoughts, while all the others sleep (except the chain smokers). Why is it that everyone else can drift away while i cannot? I haven't slept in ages. I don't think there is a cure. I'm a casualty of insomnia

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