Luckily, I am not alone.
Actually, I only know of a handful of people who are either really on top of their game or incredibly lucky, who know exactly where they will be working or studying after we get handed our diplomas. Honestly, I am kind of jealous of them... and I wonder how they are even human...
If you are in my same situation, I am sure you can relate to this list of what makes your last year of college the most difficult yet:
- Senior year is a whole lotta work- Even if you are not taking a full schedule, there are still a million places to be and a million things to be working on.
- You are on your own- In high school, I had a guidance counselor that helped me sort out where I wanted to study for undergrad. Although she did not hold my hand during the process, she was always open to me stopping by to ask questions, and she seemed to know me well enough to let me know of programs and schools that would be a proper fit for me. In college, professors and advisers are too busy to actually help you that much. I know that my adviser wants to help me with my future plans and that she wants to see me grow, but she also teaches 100+ other students and leaves campus at 5pm most days.
- Insecurity- YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING ANYMORE... I do not even know what I will be eating for dinner for the next week, let alone where I will be or what I will be doing in six short months. I just pray that I will be happy and have something to eat for dinner by then.
- So many questions- Throwback to senior year of high school when every family member/friend would ask you what you are doing after graduation and you literally just have to answer "not sure" and stuff your face with Tostitos, to stop this conversation from happening for the seventh time in one afternoon.
- Something has to suffer- The very beginning of this semester was mass chaos for me, and I realized that I just had too much on my plate. Although I did not want to drop anything, I ended up having to give up on a fellowship scholarship and project that I really wanted to work on. It was the only thing that was not necessary for me to spend my time on. Hopefully I will be able to take this back up in the near future.
- ALL OF MY MONEY IS GONE- Okay, the GRE is like $200; Grad school applications can cost from $45 to $75; Business attire is usually expensive; textbooks are expensive; gas is pricy; groceries are a weekly expense; I could go on for days about all the money I no longer have... let's move on...
- Being a student leader is stressful (But still totally worth it)- Senior year makes you a big shot on campus: you are experienced, you know your campus and the student population really well, and you now have the passion and power to accomplish the visions you have for your club or organization. Personally, I spend just as much time on my executive board positions as I do on work for my other classes. It is all about balance.
- All of my senior projects/capstones are due in the same week-You will not sleep for a full week and even though you look like death, nobody will take pity on your soul or give you an extension.
- Senioritis is incurable- That lack of motivation and early onset of procrastination that you felt at the end of junior year? Yeah, it only gets worse.
- This is your last year of undergrad EVER- Saying goodbye to your friends and university is always at the back of your mind at the end of every great night. No matter what happens, there is always a little reminder that this formative part of your life is coming to an end. Every time someone raises their glass or soda-pop can to toast to your graduating class, you know that it just hit them.
Do not get me wrong, senior year is still pretty great; It just is not the breeze that I was told it would be, which is okay. I know that I have grown as a person throughout these past few months, since so much responsibility, power, and stress have been poured out onto me. I also feel a lot of support from friends and family and an overwhelming sensation that, even though I still do not know what I am doing with my life, things are going to work out and that I will be okay. I just have to work through the applications and projects while continuing to enjoy myself with all the best people.